We live in an era in which the nature, function and structure of the family has been thrown into disarray. The new trend in the family today is that the father has become the fun parent. He takes the kids to the park to play games as the mother does the house chores.
One of the most striking features of the Muslim society is the importance attached to the family.
In an interview with Iwomantoday, Mudathir Ahmed, a husband and a father of four, narrates to us just how important a man is to a family.
“It was easy for a man during the past generation because all he had to do was to provide for the family and come back home with a thunderous voice, and everyone would be scared of him. But a man today has to do more because the environment has changed,” he said.
Family units are regarded as the cornerstone of a healthy and balanced society.
In Islam, a man and a woman are the two basic pillars of a family. In the Quran, it states that men are the protectors and maintainers of women, clearly placing men in a leadership role within the household. As the head of the household, a man is therefore expected to adequately provide for his wife and children.
The conversation surrounding the role of men and the role of women revolves around what one gender should do for the other. Ahmed’s approach is more of a collaboration. “I’m happy that when I got married, my wife allowed me access to the kitchen so we could cook together and this has made me enjoy cooking with her. We are a team, my wife and I,” he said.
A man, despite all, should also contribute to the emotional, spiritual and mental well-being of his family.
Jamilla Wahome, a mental health practitioner and psychologist at the Family Resource Centre, told Iwomantoday, “Family is where our first and strongest emotional memories are made and that is where they keep growing. The man is a vital component of any family’s social support system.”
Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership, it is a 100/100 partnership. Remember, you get what you give. Meeting your partner’s needs is very crucial; it shows you are a good husband and a great father to your children.
“Domestic chores are important because it allows you to bond with your partner and it makes her feel like she is your partner and not your maid,” Ahmed said. He further added, “it shows her that as a man, I can come to your level and enjoy what you do, and you can come to my level and enjoy what I do.”
There is a plethora of films centered on the father-and-child relationship. Maybe it is due to the old saying that men are wired to be emotionally distant and unavailable.
“When you watch most movies, especially the American ones, you see a man cooking for his wife and they say it is a romantic scene. But our prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) taught us this already. We forget this and say the Americans are romantic. Our prophet was even more romantic,” he added.
The man plays a very important role in the family. As a husband, he has to understand and sympathise with his wife. As a father, he has the responsibility to teach his son or daughter the skills needed to become a good person.
It is not easy to perform all those tasks perfectly and simultaneously. However, with a strong heart and clear determination nothing is impossible.
By: Urban Shihemi
